If you could see.

If you could see, i'm the one who understands you, been here waiting all the while. Then things will be different...

Many things happened, things changed drastically, and me? Still being a dickhead.

Whatever we have been through makes it even harder for me to give up on you, yes.

The reason i went for the interview on 2oct was to hope that i would get the job, so that when i get my pay, every single cent will be spent on you. I had only that on my mind, you said when i take my pay, then i treat you eat big big good good food, can you still remember?

Job taken, lost you. Er, what was i doing when i was working in the shops? Thinking about you, what you said, and those days were really hard to get through. Always getting scolded by boss, always being distracted. When i don't think about you, it is worse, either way the feeling of losing something of immense value comes..

Just... why?

Maybe i'll understand it someday, maybe i will never, no time.

No chance was given to me right from when you said the 2words, just faint vision of possibilities... As much as i wanted to, i couldn't.. So, what i did? I wrote lengthy essays, came up with quotes, messages, and more.. I explained things you always wanted to hear, but i know that it will never be enough...

I did what i did because i was afraid of losing you. i wouldn't have bothered had i not loved you so much, and now, i still do, even more than before.

Maybe someday you'll realize that i will always be standing and waiting behind you should you fall. i'll always be the one who catches you when you fall.

Maybe.

I wish, to build it to the end with you.